


if we're being moderate, i got nothing

by 6LilBussy9



Series: Authorized Personnel Only (Universal Studios AU) [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Universal Studios, Bottom Lee Felix, Co-workers, M/M, MK Ultra, Majestic 12, Race Through New York starring Jimmy Fallon, Roswell UFO incident, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, TGIFridays at the Holiday Inn & Suites Across From Universal Orlando, Threesome - M/M/M, Tinfoil hats, Top Bang Chan, Top Seo Changbin, chan and felix are alien hunter youtubers, chan reads The Dialect of Enlightenment, man-eating alien conspiracies, mentioned minsung - Freeform, mentioned murder of an Orlando citizen, simp chan simp chan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27609869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6LilBussy9/pseuds/6LilBussy9
Summary: He could already see it: the headline reading, ‘Two self-proclaimed alien hunters murdered right outside the Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon ride’.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: Authorized Personnel Only (Universal Studios AU) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965907
Comments: 10
Kudos: 81





	if we're being moderate, i got nothing

The last time he spoke to Changbin was a few days ago. It wasn’t really a conversation -- just a quick text asking if Felix had left his Switch controller at his apartment -- just a short exchange of words -- just “no” and “okay.” And that was embarrassing, because they were supposed to be best friends. They used to text every day, slept over at each other's every weekend, spent most of their free time together. But they hadn’t seen each other face-to-face in at least a week, maybe two. They were best friends though, but only theoretically now.

Felix jumped. “Oh my god. There you are.” The split-second fright on his face twisted into a giddy grin as he craned his head up from his seat crouched on the sidewalk, hiding behind a trash can. In his left hand, there was a flashlight, turned on but pointed at the ground, so the yellow-white stream cut through the night air to their feet. “Why’d you take so long?”

“Jeongin was holding me up,” Chan said, mirroring Felix’s smile before he could help it, as he settled down beside Felix. “Someone spilled their piña colada all over the floor of the ride.” 

“Jeongin? But doesn’t he work at the E.T. ride?”

“Used to.” Chan couldn’t resist -- bringing his hand to Felix’s wonderfully soft hair and tousling it. “He asked to move for some reason.”

Felix whistled low then laughed, leaning into Chan’s palm when it trailed down to rest by his cheek. “Oooh. Binnie gave me some gossip.” Not far from the tips of Chan’s fingers, there were scatters of freckles. “He says Jeongin caught two people having sex on the ride after hours.”

Chan would love to describe every freckle in great detail, to try and imprint the shape of each one into his memory so when he pressed his lips to every inch of Felix’s face, he’d remember which ones he’d already kissed, but Felix’s words made him stop. He blinked, balanced his weight from one foot to another. “Uh-?”

Felix’s eyes were fluttered shut now, his mouth upturned in a tiny, but all the more delicate smile. “Mm?”

“Jeongin saw what?”

“Oh.” Felix’s eyes opened again. “He saw two people fucking. Like-” A giggle erupted from his mouth. “Yeah, like on the ride.”

“Sex.”

“Yeah, sex.”

“Sex on the E.T. ride.”

As if it had only now settled into Felix’s head, his hands clapped together with a toss of his head that seemed to indicate he was about to burst into loud laughter. Chan hastily tried to silence him by waving his arms every which way and shushing. This was because it was almost 9 pm, and the park had been closed for some 3 hours, and if they got caught loitering around, Chan’s excuses and charisma could only take him so far. Felix got the hint; he covered his face to muffle the noises he was making, but then went on talking anyway. “In what part- In what part of the ride do you think they did it?”

If Chan didn’t love Felix so much it caused him aches in his chest, he’d shake him and beg him to be quiet. Instead, he answered, in a whisper, “The part where you fly over the city is romantic.” He thought about it for a moment: him and Felix on the E.T. ride, sitting beside each other, hands held. He would reach over, take Felix’s chin, slowly turn his face over, and it would take some shifting on their seats, but Chan would manage to kiss him, as gently as he liked to. He’d be able to feel Felix’s smile against his lips.

Felix broke into his daydream: “Duuude, what if they did it in the part where the baby E.T.s sing?”

Chan felt his face scrunch in a cringe. “Ew.”

“Okay, say, hypothetically, as a thought experiment-”

“Felix, I love you. I adore you. You’re the light of my life. My sunshine.”

“Mmmhm.”

“But absolutely not.”

Felix pouted and turned to his flashlight, fiddling with it, “You don’t even know what I was gonna ask.” He muttered incomprehensibly under his breath, but the disappointment on his face didn’t last long. “So, is it safe to walk around?”

“I walked past the security guard on the way here.” That reminded Chan to slide the strap of his duffel bag off his shoulder, dropping it to the sidewalk with a plop. He unzipped it, showing Felix, whose eyes sparkled, all the hundred trinkets stuffed in there. “Budget cuts, so we shouldn’t see another one for a while. And if we see any one of them, just hide behind me.” Chan and Felix were essentially the same height so how well Felix could hide behind him was contestable, but that didn’t matter presently. 

Felix was already rummaging through the contents of the duffle bag, pulling out one of the tinfoil hats then placing it onto his head. “Cool. Did you forget the vacuum?”

“You were serious about that?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I can’t fit that into my bag, so.”

“It’s okay.” Felix, of course, smiled like the angel that he was. “If we see the alien, we probably shouldn’t get too close for now.” He pulled out a Sony CX440 Handycam camcorder, flipped it open, and brought it to his face, one eye on the viewfinder, the other clenched shut. “Let’s just catch it on camera for tonight.”

If Chan didn’t love Felix, he might have thought this was stupid. But he did, so he reached for his own tinfoil hat and said, “Hell yeah.”  
They zipped up the bag again, stood, went on their way with flashlights pointed forward. The Simpsons sections of the park made itself known, shadowy and darkened visions of the normally bright, cartoon-y motifs to the fake Springfield appearing a hundred times more sinister than normal. The two walked close together, eventually their hands found each other, and their fingers slipped between the cracks. Whenever something scurried past, they’d point their flashlights at it, jump, and one of them would yelp -- usually Chan -- but it’d always end up being nothing more than a bug or a rat. “Ew,” Felix said as one gray rat sped past, right into Krusty the Clown’s mouth, which just so happened to be the entrance to the main ride. “Why are there so many?”

“Budget cuts,” Chan repeated from earlier. “They fired a couple of the exterminators.”

“What’s with all the budget cuts then?” Felix turned over, and Chan realized he was holding the camera up, and he was recording.

Chan started to consider whether Universal Studios’ financial struggles were supposed to be confidential information he could get fired for, but Felix’s pink lips were parted in an innocently curious way. The last thing he wanted was to make him frown. “Ever since that guy died, less people have been coming to the park. It’s been a major drop. Not anything we’re used to.”

“What guy?” asked Felix, clearly for the camera, because Felix was the actual expert on all the rumors.

Chan began walking again as he spoke, staring off to look just a tad more dramatic. “The guy who turned up dead at his house with a dozen bite marks taken out of him. Supposedly, he had just come home from a trip to Universal. They say he was still holding the park tickets in his hand when the police got to his house.”

“Ooo,” Felix just about giggled. “Something tried to eat him.”

“It full-on ate some chunks of him. Rumors say it was an alien -- the traces of saliva they found were like nothing ever recorded on Earth. Since there’s been no sightings though -- it’s possible it’s a shapeshifter.”

“And it could be any one of us-”

“Ah!” Chan hacked, running into a trashcan.

“Shit,” Felix said, and lowered the camera. “Can we do that again? From the top?”

Chan was busy rubbing where the edges of the green container had jammed into his abdomen. “S-” Wheeze. “Sure, yeah.”

Their alien hunting Youtube channel wasn’t very popular, but they’d hit 300 subscribers, and one of their videos, in which Felix spent half an hour reading alien conspiracies in an ASMR whisper while tapping on a wooden hairbrush, was in the process of going viral. The algorithm seemed to enjoy the stupidest content they could think of, so risking Chan’s job and their lives hunting a man-eating alien through Universal Studios sounded pretty damn good. That in mind, Chan took the camera from Felix’s hands; they might as well use Felix’s cute boyfriend status for views too.  
After shooting some B-roll, filming the intro, and re-doing the section where Chan explains the murder that had the entirety of Orlando suspicious of neighbors, friends, and even family, they ended up walking past the Revenge of the Mummy ride, meaning they had walked half the park. Whoever was working security that night was very, very conveniently, out of their way. After a while, what should have been a relief became the driving behind Chan’s anxiety. The sight of the dark red tracks of the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit cutting into the dark sky making Chan jump was seemingly the last straw. Felix took his hand again and asked, “Are you good?”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that we haven’t seen any guards?”

Felix’s eyes widened significantly. “That’s-” Of course, he was still filming and spun around so he could get their surroundings on camera. “That’s weird, yeah. Didn’t you see a guy earlier?”

Chan swallowed; his heart was beginning to speed up in his chest. “Yeah, I did.” He squeezed Felix’s fingers, cool to the touch. “Maybe we should go.”

“Aw, but…” Felix trailed off, replacing his argument with a pout. All things considered, Chan admired Felix’s bravery, since he was personally on the brink of calling it quits. He could already see it: the headline reading, ‘Two self-proclaimed alien hunters murdered right outside the Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon ride’. If the alien had the heart to only take a few bites out of them but leave them alive, then Chan would probably lose his job, if he weren’t made into some attraction himself. Felix would be fine; he didn’t even work at Universal -- instead, at the TGI Fridays at the Holiday Inn & Suites Across From Universal Orlando. Changbin and Chan had met him there actually, betting amongst themselves who could win the cute waiter’s heart. Changbin had won, but then lost. 

There was a dull slam, and the two started, latched onto each other. Chan, surprisingly, didn’t scream, but Felix did. They waved their flashlights wildly, pointing them in every direction, but there was nothing discernibly malicious hiding in the shadows. Something had probably been knocked over somewhere.

“G-Guess that’s the guard,” said Felix, looking incredibly brave and handsome to Chan, was now definitely considering crying. “Should we hide? Behind a trash can or something?” He stopped momentarily to adjust the lopsided tinfoil hat on his head.

“No, I, uh-” Chan realized he had the front door keys to the Jimmy Fallon ride in his pocket; that was where he spent his days slaving away sitting at the lobby, directing crowds when to head into the _other_ lobby. “We can go in there.”

“The ride?”

“Yeah. It’s supposed to be locked. No way they’ll find us.” 

Chan unlocked the door, led the way in, let Felix come in after him. They stepped into a pitch black corridor with various enormous advertisements hung on portraits to the left and printed screencaps of _The Tonight Show_ on the right. Their flashlights made everything appear all the more sinister; Fallon’s grin more reminiscent of a circa-2013 Creepypasta image than a normal person’s when it was fogged by dark shadows like that. They came out of that corridor into another one, albeit less claustrophobic. They continued walking close together, though, as if huddled for warmth.

“Hey, Chan,” Felix called.

“Yeah?”

“If we get killed by an alien, I just wanted you to know…”

Chan stopped, smiled warmly. “I love you too.” A breath tumbled out from between his lips. “I love you so much. I just- I always end up talking about you to everyone, and whenever I’m stressed I think about you and- God, you’re so perfect. I can’t believe that you’re, like, a real person. You’re so talented and you sing so, so, _so_ good. It just blows my mind. Every day I wake up, and I want to thank you for being here. For being with me. For living with me so I can eat your fudge brownies every morning- I mean it that I can’t believe you’re a real person. I keep thinking that you’re a figment of my imagination or a real-life angel that came down, but I don’t feel _worthy_. Look, I’m sorry, I’m repeating myself, but if there really is an alien hunting us down... If that noise was a man-eating alien that’s gonna kill us both, I want you to know that I love you. So much.”

Felix’s mouth was open, and between freckles and the tips of his ears, there was a pink flush.

Chan was also blushing -- his face beet red while he was nearly struggling to regain his breath. 

“Chan, um-” Felix rubbed the back of his neck. “I love you too.” Chan felt a murderously sweet warmth in his chest. “I was just gonna let you know that I actually… lost our Switch, though.”

“What. Lost?”

“I left it somewhere! I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine. It’s cool.” It’s not as if Chan’s love had been rejected or anything, but the burst of affection and joy in him slowly transformed into embarrassment. He wasn’t mortified, exactly, but almost. “Um, anyway.”

“Sorry, I think I got your confession on tape. Should I… delete that later?”

“No, no, it’s fine. We can keep it. Just not put it on the channel.”

“Yeah! No worries!”

“Cool.”

A pause then Felix said, “I love you! So much!”

“I love you too.”

They decided to head further into the attraction, only to try to move around a little and get the lingering awkward moment off their shoulders. Felix had never been the type to burst out confessions -- his love language was definitely more tilted towards touching and kissing -- so Chan should have known better. Truthfully, he’d been meaning to say it for a while. He told Felix he loved him every other minute, yes, but he’d always wish he could let Felix know how far that love really extended. As they walked into the next lobby, with seats and tables that were supposed to have virtual mini games over the surface, all between tall pillars with Jimmy Fallon’s face on them, Chan felt a tinge of conflict.

He wasn’t losing Felix. He had no reason to fear that. Felix loved him. He wasn’t getting bored of their relationship. Everything was fine. But something was missing. Blurting all that out, not feeling better, was only making him realize that maybe the hole in his heart had nothing to do with Felix. Maybe someone else was missing from his life, and it was slowly eating away at Chan no matter what he did.

“You always told me this ride was pretty bad,” Felix mumbled as their feet tapped loudly against the faux wood floor. “So I’ve never actually been on it, you know.”

“It’s not terrible,” Chan decided to contend. “It has its moments, but it’s just another Minions’ Ride. And Jimmy isn’t all that funny to me.” Pause. “He feels fake. I don’t know.” He pointed his flashlight at one of Fallon’s silly faces, and he kept remembering those rows of advertisements on the way. He wasn’t sure what connection his brain was attempting to make, but he decided to let it go for now. He wasn’t in the mood to think anyway; he wanted to hunt aliens with his boyfriend; he could ponder about Jimmy Fallon’s personality some other time. More precisely, he could finish reading the "The Culture Industry: Enlightenment as Mass Deception" chapter in his copy of the _Dialectic of Enlightenment_ and then come to a conclusion later.  
  
“Aaah,” Felix whined. “Where’s the ride?”

They had just walked into yet another lobby, this one square-shaped and smaller. “Half the ride is this shit,” Chan grumbled. “Usually there’s a video that plays from those TVs there.” He pointed with the flashlight. 

“Man, maybe this ride really does suck,” Felix said, and Chan could only laugh. They pushed through some double doors on their right before reaching the actual attraction. It was essentially a small theater: a block of 5 or 6 rows of a dozen red seats situated in front of a large television. The chairs were supposed to move and jostle around, of course, so there were seatbelts and handle bars that Felix made a show of climbing and hopping over. Chan wandered around, climbing down some stairs to the side and finding the control panel for the ride. He’d handled it a few times before, and with a flick, the blindingly white lights above turned on. Both of them screamed. Chan turned them off again. He decided to click for the ride to start, but only the movie portion. The seats stayed stationary, which was good because Felix was still climbing all over them carelessly.  
On screen, Jimmy Fallon burst in on a race car, shouting at riders that they were going to race through New York. Chan had seen it a thousand times, so he was tempted to shut it off again, but he noticed Felix watching it. He slowly moved to sit down on one of the plastic-y seats, gaze following every little thing that popped on screen. Chan, then, decided to leave it. He went back up the stairs, hopped onto the ride, then sat beside Felix. They both watched the movie quietly for some moments. Even though Felix had said the ride looked like it sucked before, he seemed entirely invested in it now. 

It was cute. Watching the Jimmy Fallon ride film wasn’t cute, but Felix made everything cute.  
  
Thinking this, Chan couldn’t help himself. He leaned over, pressed his lips to Felix’s jaw. And Felix laughed in the giggly way he always did then turned his head. They kissed slowly, not deeply, but not very innocently either. Chan’s teeth grazed Felix’s bottom lip, and when Felix opened his mouth invitingly, their making out became a hell of a lot messier quickly. If it weren’t for the shouting, they might have gotten carried away.

Instantly, they shot away from each other as they heard, “What the fuck are you guys doing here?”

Both their heads swung in the direction of the voice, and as if being caught making out on the Jimmy Fallon ride wasn’t bad enough, it was Felix’s ex-boyfriend.

“Changbin,” Chan breathed. “What the fuck are _you_ doing here?”

“I asked first,” Changbin huffed. “Are you gonna fuck in here? What-?” Splutter, then, “Oh my god- the hats.”

“It’s so we can’t be mind controlled,” Felix seemed to remind him. “The tinfoil keeps out the electromagnetic waves that aliens and the government use to read your thoughts. Remember when we read about MK Ultra together?”

“Right. Of course I remember,” said Changbin. “So, I’m guessing you two are alien hunting?”

“You bet!” Felix hopped up onto his feet, hands landing onto his hips. “Wanna help?”

Chan was staring down at his crotch, thankful his half-boner wasn’t tenting his jeans. “Uh.” He looked at Changbin. “You didn’t answer what you’re doing here.”

“Oh, Jeongin left some of his shit here. I was near the park, so he asked me if I could come pick it up for him.”

“Hey.” Felix shifted. “Were you the one that dropped something earlier?” 

“You heard that?” One of Changbin’s eyebrows curled up. “Yeah, I ran into a trash bin.”

“Oh.” Felix slowly removed his tinfoil hat then sadly slipped it into Chan’s duffel bag. Chan couldn’t help but frown along with him. “We thought it might be the alien.”

“God,” Changbin sighed, climbing over the railing to them before plopping down onto the creaky seat beside Chan. “I should’ve realized you two would do something like this.”

Changbin looked kind of good, Chan realized, as Felix laughed and asked if Changbin would like to help them on their hunt; Changbin’s dark hair was slicked back, so that his forehead could be seen for once, and he wore one of those tight-fitted tanks that did wonders for his muscles. It was distracting. Chan wasn’t sure why. It’s not like he was attracted to him or anything -- that would be wrong, because he had a boyfriend, and it also didn’t make sense. They were best friends, or had been, so clearly it was platonic appreciation. Chan could think Changbin was sexy, in a non-gay way; that was fine. It was cool. Most people probably thought that about these friends, maybe even excessively. 

Chan had no idea who he was trying to convince, but he kept arguing that it was perfectly fine to continually think about how hot your bro is.

“Chan.”

His head turned to Felix. “Yeah, babe?”

“I read somewhere that aliens can’t cum.”

Chan blinked. “What.”

Felix nodded, almost innocently, as he adjusted himself in his seat. Vaguely, Chan wondered why Changbin hadn’t reacted either, but he had dated Felix before. This wasn’t a very out-of-the ordinary thing for Felix to say anyway. “You remember when we went to AlienCon?” 

Chan remembered that pretty fondly: he’d received some texts from Changbin in the middle of the night that read, ‘hey be careful with felix’s alien stuff i think he’s like a step away from going full conspiracy theorist’ but Chan let him know they were also going to join in on the Area 51 raid. Changbin seemed a bit sad after that -- apparently he had been planning to go with Felix before the break up. It was pretty amicable as far as most breakups go. They talked it out -- Changbin had told Felix that felt like something was missing, but he didn’t know what. No hard feelings -- everyone remained friends. Hypothetically.

“And you remember the guy selling the alien dildos?” Felix cut in. 

“Which?” Chan asked.

“Which,” Changbin repeated simply, the Jimmy Fallon ride movie beginning again as he did so.

“The one that came with the eggs.” With a sweet smile, Felix explained to Changbin’s horrified face, “They’re made out of gelatin. When you put them inside you they dissolve, so it’s perfectly safe. We got a pink one, it had little tentacles attached too!”

“We haven’t used it yet,” Chan said quickly.

“Yet,” Changbin said. Solemnly.

“But back to the point!” Felix stood up from his chair. “The guy who sold them said aliens can’t cum. That’s why they put eggs inside of you.” 

There was a pause, before Changbin mumbled, “Like seahorses. Females make the egg but have males carry it.” The other two stared. “Minho’s boyfriend told me that. Interesting guy.”

“Well,” Felix tried again. “I have an idea.” The two waited, and they came to realize that in between the freckles on Felix’s face, there was a pink, embarrassed blush. “I was thinking, like, what if you guys are the alien?”

“Oh my god,” Chan said. 

“Yeah, so I’m gonna need you both to cum. Right now.”

If he were drinking something, Chan was sure he’d be spitting out at that moment -- maybe throwing up too. Not because ejaculating in front of Felix was bad, or even out of the ordinary, but Changbin was there. As close as they’d been, and Chan’s platonic bro lusting after him aside, they’d never even seen each other’s dick. Not that Chan hadn’t imagined it before -- platonically.

Changbin didn’t react as badly. “Pretty sure you’ve seen me cum before.” But the bastard was smiling, as if he’d missed this.

“Duh,” Felix said. “But the alien might have replaced the old you. So.”

There was this weirdness about it all. Chan couldn’t put his finger on it, but Felix wasn’t usually like this. He liked aliens, sure, and he was into the conspiracy theories and all, but he knew when to pull back. He was a sweet guy, so sweet it made Chan’s chest warm to think about. He wasn’t the type to get so into the alien business to be paranoid about his friends. There was a mischievous glint in Felix’s eyes.

“I mean,” Chan began. “ _I’ve_ never seen you cum before, Binnie.” Changbin’s eyebrows shot up. “And Felix is so nice. Maybe you were able to trick him.” For some reason, both him and Changbin were laughing; Felix was making an enormous effort to stay serious still -- face deadset. 

“I’ve never seen _you_ cum before,” Changbin retorted, and it was clear now where everything is going. “But hey, you’re Felix’s boyfriend. I probably shouldn’t.”

Felix shushed him quickly. “So we can commit to good research based on a well-developed, interconnected web of excellent scientific theory, and pure deduction -- for purely logistical analysis based on facts and logic, I mean -- you are both my boyfriends. For this experiment.”

“Only proper qualitative study here,” Chan added over Changbin’s laughing.

Really, this was fine. It was definitely an awful way to go about it, but maybe Felix was more attentive than he let on. Maybe he figured out that all Chan and Changbin had to do to fix their loneliness was to fuck each other, and Felix too. Chan wasn’t sure how they were going to deal with this in the long term, but whatever -- Chan was horny, and both Changbin and Felix were smiling. 

Changbin pulled Chan’s tinfoil hat off his head and let it fall to the floor. “Now that I think about it: in the Majestic 12 files said something about how the Roswell aliens couldn’t cum.” 

“Did they?” Chan was getting to his feet, moving onto his knees, noticing it was sticky, noticing it was really gross and that the Jimmy Fallon film was still playing and blaring from the speakers. It was an incredibly surreal emotion to hear Jimmy Fallon in drag say, “Ew,” as Chan’s hands went to the zipper of Changbin’s pants. It was even more surreal to get hard again as Fallon said something about pizza in New York. It took a moment for Chan to register that he was holding Changbin’s cock in a loose fist, but once he did, he gave it a squeeze that made its owner shudder. He glanced at Felix, who had at some point moved to the chair Chan had been in -- so he was now beside them, watching, with a gleeful, pretty, little smile. Chan’s cheeks flushed at the sight, and then his embarrassment only grew once the reality he was about to fuck his best friend and boyfriend hit much harder. 

“You good?” Changbin asked; Chan looked up, but that only made his beet red face warmer. Changbin was patient, he was a good dude, he was always looking out for others and ensuring they were comfortable. Chan felt so lucky to have him. 

Feeling a smile tug at the end of his lips, Chan opened his mouth. “I’mfgh goodsh,” he said around Changbin’s cock. For some reason, Felix was giggling off to the side, probably touching himself too based off the noises. Chan, meanwhile, focused on shifting his hand to grip near the base, as he bobbed his head slowly, letting Changbin’s cock drag against his tongues smoothly. Once Chan started sucking, and shut his eyes to focus, Changbin’s near silence broke. He grunted, leaned down to put his hand on Chan’s hair, threaded his fingers through the dark strands of Chan’s hair, soothingly skimmed his nails against his scalp. 

Chan could taste Changbin’s precum. He was tempted to ask if this was proof enough, but that would mean no longer sucking on a fat juicy dick, so he decided it could wait. With his free hand, he was undoing his fly, reaching into his own pants to rub himself through his briefs. In an instant, Felix moved to Chan’s side. His hands replaced Chan’s; Felix held Changbin’s cock now, and Chan’s as well. Chan twitched, pulled off Changbin, and panted for a second. He licked his wet lips, blinked away the wetness in his eyes. Laughed. 

“Good job,” said Changbin.

“I’m not done yet,” Chan replied, and met the other’s eyes to grin. “You haven’t cum yet.”

“Neither have you,” Felix cut in. “I need you both to prove you’re not aliens.”

“You also haven’t proved you’re not,” Changbin reminded him.

Felix shushed him, and Chan got some more sucks in before Felix moved his hands off them and stood up. “Okay, I got a way to speed this up. Chan, you brought the stuff right?”

Chan nodded, hazily, and pointed. “Front pocket.” Felix went to Chan’s duffel bag to pull out a pink plastic tube and a square blue wrapper. When Felix returned, he told Chan to get up, told Changbin too as well.

“How are we gonna do this?” Changbin asked, getting to his feet while Chan stayed on the ground, still tasting precum and feeling tired enough to pass out. 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Felix grabbed one of the armrests of the seat. “Should I bend over this?” Without getting an answer, he put his knees on the cushion of a seat, turned around so he could be bent over the armrest as he’d said, and then he gripped the armrest of the chair his upper half was bent over.

Chan finally clamored to his feet. “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”

“Sacrifices made for research,” Felix tried to say but couldn’t keep a straight face, as a soft laugh slipped out between his teeth. “Chan, come over here.” Chan did as told. “You do my mouth.”

“Are you sure?” He could hear Changbin ripping open the condom wrapper. uncapping the lube, spreading the cool gel over his cock. 

“Best way to make sure it’s real cum. Just in case you’re both working together to trick me.”

They all had to stop a moment to laugh as Chan said, “Okay stop with that or we’re leaving.” But he moved to kneel in the chair in front of Felix, whose mouth obediently fell open once Chan brought his cock inches from Felix’s pretty mouth. Chan stared at the way precum smeared over his plumper top lip, and just stared. It was fine to do since Changbin was adjusting himself so that he was kneeled behind Felix, and Felix was leaning back as Changbin’s cock went to slide into him. Chan stared at Felix’s lips, and thought of the countless times they had been wrapped around him, sucking and milking every drop.

Chan randomly realized Felix might have asked him to move because he wasn’t great at blowjobs. He’d feel offended if he weren’t too horny to function. Finally, he caressed Felix’s hair, called his attention back to him, then pushed his cock in — at the same time as Changbin, seemingly, since Felix breathed out a soft moan around Chan that sent a hard shudder up his spine. He briefly wondered if Felix had ever done this before, or if he was only enthusiastic, because even though Changbin rocked his hips slowly, Felix moved back against him much quicker. He swirled his tongue round the head of Chan’s cock, and kept eye contact with him even after he’d taken more of it into his mouth and his muffled moans began to sound a lot more like chokes.

Changbin picked up the pace, grabbed Felix by the hips and held him in place as he, with the accompanying slap sounds that filled the air between Jimmy Fallon’s stupid fucking words, began to fuck him faster. And harder, if Felix’s having to pull off Chan’s cock to cry out in a pitch that starkly contrasted with the low cadence of his usual speaking voice. He whined out highly, moaned breathily onto Chan’s cock, and Chan quickly held onto the chair he supported himself on for help. The tightness in his groin was becoming unbearable, so he took a tighter grip of Felix’s hair. Unsurprisingly, Felix reached up to hold Chan’s bicep, and squeeze, of course. It was nice to know that Felix’s muscle kink was an unthreatened constant of life; he was willing to grope Chan’s muscles even while fucking on a shit dumb ride after sneaking around Universal Studios after hours hunting an alien.

He finished in Felix’s mouth, with a deep moan that made him clench his eyes shut and hang his head. He panted, feeling his hips twitchy thrust into Felix, who swallowed every last drop, then removed his mouth — Chan’s grip on his hair had loosened — and licked his lips. Chan’s eyes opened just in time to see Changbin get another few thrusts in, to Felix’s newly unrestricted moans and small whines. Felix had also apparently cum, his belly and the seat he leaned on stained with white. 

With a groan, Changbin finished too, and as he did, Chan cheekily said, “Hey, Felix.”

“Mm?” It came out a bit like a squeak.

“Did you figure out if we’re aliens or not?”

“It-It’s going to take more research.” Felix shakily moved over to curl up in the chair, panting, wiping sweat from his forehead, but there was a blissful smile on his face. 

Behind him, Changbin was laughing and pulling the condom he used off. “Right. I agree.”

Chan mentally prepared a cringy one-liner to ask the two of them out with, but then the lights turned on, and the three of them turned to the control panel, where Jeongin stood, hand on a switch. He looked exhausted, deflated, on the verge of collapsing. Before any of them could even scream, Jeongin shut off the ride film then said, “Clean up. Now.” He left.


End file.
